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| the angry dog and the bone |
| 07.31.05 (5:53 pm) [edit] |
my wife and i are fortunate enough to have a few wonderful friends, who are filled with the love of Christ and the grace of God. a couple of these friends and my wife and i went out last night.
we went to a place in Dallas known as "Deep Ellum", it is an arty part of town. i guess i should explain a little about what i mean by arty. Deep Ellum is filled with blues clubs, tattoo shops, head shops, and bars. it attracts a very diverse crowd ranging from punks to yuppies, and all in between. there is a fun air there and people come to party as well as people watch.
we started our evening at The Angry Dog. it is a bar that serves one of the best kosher chili dogs i have ever eaten. served with a huge side of fries and a wonderful atmosphere of diversity and our waitress was a cheerful young lady who made us feel more than welcomed. we had a few beers and ate out food and just talked about our kids, churches, and lives.
as always the conversation turned to theology and especially the need for grace in our christian lives. we talked for probably an hour and a half about the grace God has given each of us and how we should be sharing it with the world around us.
after dinner we went to a tattoo shop and looked at some flash and some artists portfolios. i was thinking of getting a tattoo and wanted to see some work these artists have done before i allowed them to mark me for life. the work was good, in fact great, but none of the artists had an example of th type of tatoo i wanted.
we then went to a wonderful place called The Bone. it is a typical Deep Ellum bar that has a really cool patio on the roof. we went upstairs grabbed a table and enjoyed the rather unusually cool Dallas weather. we has a few more beers and listisened to the music the DJ played. we talked more about life and God and laughed and shared stories for about 2 hours or so.
it is rare that my wife and i go out like this. there are many reasons why. we have small children, we work different schedules, and we are basically the home body types anyway to name a few. we had such a good time that last night as we got to bed, way to late, we were planning our next time to go out with friends.
we consentrated more on our relationships with others last night and that is great. i would like to go back and find some folks who look lonely, and there were plenty of them last night, buy them a beer and get to know them. share a little love of Christ with them and show them that not all christians are uptight goody-goodies who can't have a good time except at a church ice cream social.
i think Jesus would go to Deep Ellum, and He would have loved the Angry Dog with it's huge stuffed marlin over the bar and the loud music that bellowed out of the speakers making "polite" conversation impossible. I believe He would have wanted to go to The Bone and see the Dallas skyline from the rooftop and enjoy the weather His Dad provided for the evening. and yes, i think He would have loved to have visited the tatoo shops with their never ending posters of tribal lines and japanese coy fish. the artist who are sleeved up and pierced in more places than i care to really think about.
These were the places Jesus loved to be when he was here. I know there wasn't a Deep Ellum in Jerusalem, but there must have been a place fairly similar. where the people gathered to commune with each other and look at other people and enjoy a night away from the kids.
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| blue pens |
| 07.15.05 (7:24 pm) [edit] |
it was the spring of 1998. i hopped a plane form sacramento, ca. to dallas, tx. i was met by my new district manager. later that evening i was introduced to H. he was the new regional vice president.
i had risen through the ranks at the company i worked for fairly quickly. just 2 and a half years before i was a cashier. now i was to open the first 2 stores in texas. it was truly a dream come true. i was somebody. people were talking about 2 or 3 years in dallas then i'd be a district manager and with my talent in 5 years a regional director. the company was growing fast and needed insiders to fill the voids that would be created.
H. was a short pudgy man. balding with a bad comb-over and thick glasses. he was the typical picture of a geek. i soon realized that he was driven and knew the retail game very well.
we had dinner that night and talked about the plans for the future. with my help he said we would soon be the envy of the folks back home in cali.
8 weeks in ft. woth then i started my store. i built it from the ground up. when i say built i mean it. i built the majority of the display cases, the counters, and bins that all the merchandise would go in. i painted, sawed, hammered, and fitted every nook and cranny of that store. it was my baby, and my life. i spent long days and nights getting things ready for opening day.
along the way something happened though. H. became my enemy. he hated me for some reason, and i could never figure out why. i am an affable person, i like just about everyone i meet and until that time i had never really known what an enemy was.
H. was an enemy. nothing i did pleased him. my immediate superior was tickled to death over me, but H. the 'big boss" openly mocked me and criticised me in front of my employees.
he would come by my store every day and usually 2 to 3 times and leave long lists of totally anal things that were not up to his expectations. after working for so long i began to wear down.
when i say so long, i mean i went 67 days without a day off. that was not a typo 67 days. after about 50 i had lost my mind.
i was a completly different person. i had lost a lot of wieght, unfortunatly i gained it all back plus more, i was short with people. employees, customers, my wife and kids. all i could think of was my next bashing by H. what would it be today, and how could i convince him that i was indeed a great store manager.
around day 50 is when i realized i never would be able to get on his good side. i had signed some documents that needed H.'s signature as well, and as he began to sign the papers he stopped and look at me and said,
"what in the hell are you thinking? are you able to do anything right or are you just the worlds biggest f*&k up."
i was startled to say the least. and i asked what i had done wrong. H. replied you used black ink to sign this, you should always use blue pen, that way you can always tell the original from a copy.
i went numb and realized if i did not quit soon i would be forced to kill this man. i quit about 2 weeks later.
from that day forward i have never and i mean never used a blue pen for anything. if someone gave me a blue pen i threw it away. if all i could find in a drawer was a blue pen then i just didn't use a pen. i hated blue pens. the resentment in me towards H. was so deep that i could not even consider using or owning a blue pen.
today, after i got off work i stopped by the back to school aisle. if you read here regualrly you know i work for the evil empire WAL-MART. we have a great selection of all the stuff students need for back to school and it's super cheap.
i stopped by just to see all the stuff and because i like paper and note books and highlighters and rulers i knew i would purchase something.
a 10 pack of pens for 38 cents. man that is a bargain. so i grabbed up red and looked for black. no black pens. i tore through every box and look over the entier aisle, but no 38 cent black pens. there were a ton of blue pens though.
so i sat there in the middle of WAL-MART and a tear ran down my cheek. what was i going to do? the hatred in my heart raised up and started to consume me. the hell of working for H. replayed in my mind. this hasn't happened in years. i was just locked in one position and couldn't even move.
then i heard a little voice. buy the blue pens. it's a great deal and besides they are only pens, are you going to hate him forever?
now i'm not saying i heard God, but it was these thoughts that ran through my head. so, after what seemed like a long long time i said out loud i forgive H.
a burden lifted from me, and as i purchased the first blue pens since 1998 i was overjoyed. they are great pens.
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| even more things i think |
| 07.14.05 (5:50 pm) [edit] |
i miss my wife
reading a lot of theology makes my brain feel like jell-o
i like jell-o
i will draft a tight end in the first round of my FFL
Peyton Manning will only get better
gall-bladders suck
if i don't get promoted at work i don't know what i'll do
grace is the key to the gospel
most christians don't know grace
i know why Graceshaker recommended [u]The Holy Wild[/u]
Coca-Cola with Lime RULES
my grass needs to be mowed
i'm not going to mow my grass
life is to be lived not practiced
if you believe it share it
i care more than i act so do i really care
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| real relationships? |
| 07.05.05 (10:16 pm) [edit] |
i have a friend and i would venture to say that he is my best friend. he finds the online discussion boards and blog scene to be a symptom of our societies inablility to form real relationships. in a sense i agree, but then there are those people who i have come into contact with that have affected my life in a powerful way.
i will not name names and link to their blogs and boards because i want you to find them for yourself. they could be the next random blog you read or board you visit on a whim. they in fact could be anyone, and i have a stong suspicion that they know who they are anyway.
they could be liars, theifs, degenerates who are playing a horrible cruel mind game to get my trust and credit card info, but you know what i don't think so. i think they are honest and genuine, and i thank God daily for them.
i believe that i have real relationships with these people. the majority i have never met, and most likely will not, for that matter i may never even talk to them on the telephone and hear their actual voices, but it does not matter to me because i read what they write on their blogs, boards, and e-mails sent to me, and i am touched by their generosity, kind words and honesty.
in a weird kind of way, and not literally, i liken it to my relationship with Jesus. I have never met him face to face, i will most likely not hear his voice on earth, and the only thing i have about him is some writting in a book. there are major differences i am aware, but it is kind of facinating that the relationship i valuw most is with a man who lived 2000 years ago who i have never met physically.
living a life via computer terminal is not living a life at all, but it can enhance a life away from the old PC.
the debate can go on if these are "real" realtionships or not, and i respect my friend for his views, but i have made real realtionships via these technological breakthroughs, and i look forward to making more.
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