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| if you read my post about jim williams... |
| 12.30.04 (10:05 pm) [edit] |
then let me let you in on a few things. if you didn't go read it right now it is titles swing low.
i got home from work tonight and called my dad's cell phone to see how he was doing. jim was my dads best friend, and my dad was the offiate of jim's memorial service. my mom answered and i asked how she was ans she said fine, then she asked if i wanted to toalk to marge, jim's wife.
i balked because i truly did not know what to say. i have purposly not called because i did not want to bother or make her sadder than she already was. my mom said i should, so after a moment i relented and said ok.
when marge came on the phone, i was pleasantly surprised that she sounded joyful. tired yes, but joyful. we talked for a few minutes about some memories of jim, and she told me how a lot (like 25-30) people from jim's work came.
jim worked at a target store and they actually had executives come and run the store so that anyone who wanted to could attend jim's funeral. i told marge that that was a true testament about jim. people saw how real and genuine he was and they were drawn to him. what they really saw was Jesus in jim. he was a wonderful example of a true christian.
she told me that she had gotten the flowers we sent, red and gold 49er's colors, and how she appreciated them so much and they made her think about us. she told me that jim has always held a special place in his heart for me and that he and she both considered me family. at this point i began to weep. i asked her to forgive me for not being able to attend the funeral ans just be there to support her, and i also asked her to forgive me for not calling on Christmas. since we have moved to TX i have called jim and marge every year to wish them a merry Christmas. she told me that i should not be sorry and that jim's final year of life was a wonderful year. we said our good-byes and marge gave the phone to my dad.
my dad sounded tired and let me know that my mom read my blog posting at the gravesite. he said it was so true and that jim would have been embarrassed by all the hubbub about him. he told me the service was hard for him, yet he knew that jim would have wanted him to do it.
so like i said at the beggining if you read my blog about jim, you read that i will for one game a season root with all of my heart for his beloved 49er's as a tribute to a wonderful man. well i will keep my word and sunday i will root for them. next season when they play the cowboys, my favorite team and a source of many good natured arguments between us, i will also root for them.
it seems a little stupid, but jim would have enjoyed it emensly to see me cheer for the red and gold, especially against the boys.
i wish everyone who reads these blogs about my friend jim gets what kind of person he was. he meant a lot to me and always will. i hope and pray that you all have a jim williams in your life. my life has been greatly affected for the better just for having known him.
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| am i normal |
| 12.30.04 (8:43 am) [edit] |
today i read that the death toll from the tsunami is over 120,000. the town i grew up in wasn't half that size. yet i do not feel that loss.
i do however feel the loss of one. my friend jim. today is his memorial service, and i will not be able to be there. i think i am glad because i have never seen his wife, my second mom, really cry becasue of heartache or pain. i have seen some tears of joy, but never sorrow.
am i an awful person because i am not affected by the huge amount of loss in the indian ocean? i do think that it is terrible and am glad that my tax dollars are going to help, but i am not personally affected so until i read about it it really is not on my mind. the tragic loss of life is horrible, but i have not shed a single tear for the lost or their families and friends. am i hard hearted and jaded? am i just a normal american who is totally self-centered and shallow. i really don't know.
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| swing low |
| 12.27.04 (9:59 am) [edit] |
the world is a sadder place today. my good friend, and brother in the faith jim williams of modesto california passed on yesterday. jim, was a wonderful man. he was a devoted father, friend, mentor, counselor, and brother.
i came to know jim by way of his youngest son. we were friends and so i spent a lot of time with the williams family. as a matter of fact my whole family spent a lot of time with them. my mother and father are best friends with them now.
jim, had the uncanny ability to be both gruff and grumpy as well as meek and gentle. he was a man of limited means, but would give you anything he had at anytime. there was never an empty space at his dinner table and never a time when all where not welcomed into his home with Christian love.
jim, taught me how to sing. we were in the church choir together and he taught me how to sing harmony, follow along with the notes, even though i can't read music, and how to breath and enuciate my words. i have never heard anything as beautiful as his tenor voice sining the Halleluhjah Chorus.
i think though the best way to share with you this wonderful man is to relate one story.
when i was 15 or 16 years old and jims son brad was 13 or 14 years old we found something out that was at the same time shocking and beautiful. not all of jim and marge's kids were jim and marge's kids. his older three rick, bob, and cathy were from previous marriage. now this seems not so shocking, but we never knew. not even his own son. not at one time was there ever a difference in how he treated his children, and to look back and see this is amazing to me.
his son's are his son's and his daughters are his daughters and they are all grieving the passing of their father. i pray that the Lord will be merciful to them and ease their pain.
i will remeber jim, as the man i could talk to when my relationship with my father was shaky. the eternal 49'ers fan who loved his team whether they were winning or losing. the man who was most likly heart broken to find out barry bonds cheated, but would still have invited him over for dinner. the man who sang swing low sweet chariot with me . the man who took my brother in when he was kicked out of his own home. the man ho worked hard had little and never complained. the man who was a father to children who were not his, he made them his and loved them like only a true father could.
so jim, the chariot swung low and took you over the river jordan to the promised land. wait for me there i want to sing with you again. have a great time praising your God with your now perfect voice, and i will for one game a season root for the 49er's with all my heart. i love you and i will miss you.
-i looked over jordan and what did i see
coming for to carry me home
a band of angels, with jim leading the way
coming for to carry me home
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| the most wonderful time of the year |
| 12.23.04 (2:45 pm) [edit] |
merry Christmas everyone. hopefully you and yours will be happy and safe this season.
please do not forget about those who are less fortunate than you. random acts of kindness go a long way on making a happy new year for some.
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| new job |
| 12.14.04 (7:18 am) [edit] |
well, i started a new job last week. i went to work for wal-mart. you see i have quite an extensive retail background. i have mangaged multi-million dollar stores, been completly responsible for their profitability, hiring, training, and the like.
for the last year and a half i have been trying to hire directly into the wal-mart manager training program. at every turn i have been told we would love to have you, but yada yada yada. basically, it boils down to wal-mart having a very aggresive plan to promote from within.
so, i hired in with what i could get. i work in the deli. man it is a rough job. i have new found respect for the position. not only is there learning about the safe procedures to handle meat and cheese, but also the cleaning tecniques and day to day maintenace of equipment. i leave there more tired than when i was working construction.
it is by no means a glamorous thing, but it is a means to an end. my goal, and it is pretty lofty, is to be a wal-mart store manager in 4 years. so wish me luck and i'll keep you posted. i'm sure there will be plenty of fun things that happen as well as some crappy stuff as well.
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| things i think |
| 12.07.04 (4:23 pm) [edit] |
i think:
the dallas cowboys will eventually drive me insane
the last 4 weeks in my ffl will be very interesting
the CountOfMonteCristo will most likely reply in a sarcastic ball busting manner or not at all.
the leaves will not all fall from my trees untill january
i'm more interesting than i think i am
education is great, experience is better
starting at the bottom sucks
green lantern is the best superhero
most professional sports figures do not break the rules
i like christmas music more than polka music
beer is a gift from God
i want to be more like Jesus
i'm almost 34 and i don't "feel" grown-up
my friend cory's parents are super cool
i am blessed beyond belief
there should be a simple blood test to determine if you are a heretic or not
sometimes i feel very ignorant
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| pride |
| 12.03.04 (4:09 pm) [edit] |
a terrible awful thing. i have a hard time with the control of this dubios emotion, feeling, sin, curse.
i think way to highly of myself most of the time. i am too good to do that job or too smart to think that way or too whatever for whatever.
i must learn to kill my pride. marsellas wallace best put it in PULP FICTION "pride only hurts it never helps".
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