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| 14 years |
| 11.23.04 (2:29 pm) [edit] |
it was a rainy day, and i arrived at the church to get dressed. my dad was my best man and my best friend at the time was the minister who performed the ceremony. we were hanging out upstairs waiting and about half an hour before the ceremony someone came in and told us that my bride to be was not yet here.
my heart sunk. i could only figure that she came to here senses and decided not to get married to me. i knew it was too good to be true, someone would voluntarily love me and commit to spend the rest of their life with me in sickness and health richer and poorer for ever and ever. yeah right.
my dad told me not to worry that she was just running late and everything was going to be just fine. i wanted to believe him, but i could not. you see the circumstance surrounding this wedding were not ideal.
she was pregnant, not someting we had planned on, but something that happened. we were already engaged to be married and so we decided to move it up a year, basically becasue i felt like it was the right thing to do, and here mother was adament that it was THE thing to do.
i had a job but it was not well paying and, because we planned to move to another city i was going to be forced to quit the job, and being without a car had to find something more local to where we were going to live.
we planned the whole thing in 2 months and it was by far not a fairy-tail affair. it was minimalistic and that alone was enough for me to feel awful. i was a kid but not a complete idiot. i knew that every little girl starting planning their wedding about the age of 8 and this was not gong to be anythign like the dream.
so to recap we were busted, pregnant, and we might have well been married at the justice of the peace.
so about 20 minutes before the ceremony was to start i was panicked. the love of my life was not going to show and i was going to have to face a bunch of people and tell them i was not worthy of her love.
i couldn't really blame here, now could i. i mean i wasn't the greatest catch, but still i thought i was assured of here love. we had talked and i had assured here that i would work long and hard and make a good life for here and our child. i had told here that i did not feel forced to marry her, that i would have married her even if she was not pregnant, and i was sincere.
then about 15 minutes before the wedding the word came, she was here. she wasn't yet completely ready, but she was here. my spirits soared, i felt like i could fly. everythign was right in the universe again, but most of all i felt loved.
later after all the hubbub of getting hitched we talked. i asked her why she was late and she explained that her mother had to get a new topper thing for the cake because she did not like the one we had. i told her how vunerable and scared i was that she was not coming and she took me into here arms and told me that there would be nothing that could happen to ever make her not love me anymore.
that was 14 years ago tommorow. we have gone through good and bad times. sickness and health been a lot richer and a lot poorer, and there has never been a time that i did not love her, and she did not love me. so tommorow i will give her a card some flowers, and help here get ready for thanksgiving dinner. no going out this year, next year we are going to vegas for our triumphant 15th year as man and wife. maybe we'll have elvis marry us again.
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| a wonderful read...for a cynic |
| 11.18.04 (4:44 pm) [edit] |
i bought a book sometime back and could not put it down. i recently started to re-read it and it's even better the second time.
this wonderful book is [u]HOW TO BECOME A BISHOP WITHOUT BEING RELIGIOUS[/u] by charles merrill smith. it is a satire on how young ministers who wish to succeed politically and finacially in their new ministeries need to act. how to chose the right suit, car, home furnishings, and even wife. also there are chapters on how to how to conduct public worship, and the administration of the church, which is the polite phrase for raising money.
it is pointedly hilarious and also at the same time quite depressing which every good satire should be. if you have ever known anyone who was in the "professional" ministry to be a profesional then this is the book for you. if you just like books that poke fun at the "pious" among us then bada boom, bada big this is it as well.
i checked and amazon has a bunch of them for under $4 as well as more books by the author. get a copy and enjoy.
on a more personal note this book had a great deal to do with getting over a really bad church experience.
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| i had a great time |
| 11.15.04 (2:54 pm) [edit] |
friday evening i went out with the boys. i can't tell you how long it's been since my friends and i have gone out and just had a good time.
we went to a local establishment shot some pool, drank some beer, ate some wings, and had a great time. i did notice some things. we are happily married dudes, and the place we were appeared to be a mini-hot spot for the over 30 singles crowd. it reminded me of when i was younger and made fun of these poor pathetic losers. man there were some basket cases there. trying to be cool, trying to hook-up and it was still funny to see their pathetic attempts to find happiness.
then i realized i have never been in that position. i have been married since i was 19. i've never known what it is like to be alone. it made me feel kinda empathetic for these people for the first time in my life. it also made me see how church singles groups, which i have previously thought of as lame, could be a real help for some. when i step back and look outside of the cultural blinders these are just people like me who want to have a good time and desperatly need some one to care for them.
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